Mexico Road Trip: Stress, Panic and Fight or Flight
I need to ask you a question, he says.
I haven’t changed my mind about the job, I answer.
No, it’s not that he says, motioning me to sit down across from him at the table, it’s about stress. In the last few months I have not been able to sleep very well. I have spoken to many people about it and have come to the conclusion it is stress…I even feel embarrassed to be here talking to you about it. Do you know how I can get rid of it? When I started out I would give people credit and we would seal the deal with a handshake…but now, even if we have a contract, some don’t pay me and I have to take them to court…I hate that. I lie awake worrying about it…
Mildred brings me a cup of very hot coffee. I’ll tell him what I think taking a sip, at least it wasn’t a question about women.
I once had a client that was a professional scuba diver, I say taking another sip, he would do shipwrecks and all sorts of dangerous dives. I helped him with his business and even though he paid me I learned a lot from him. He told me that sometimes he would sit on the boat before a dive and have a funny feeling and if he got that feeling, he would not dive. He said he thought it was the stress in him starting to build – a feeling generated about the stress of the dive. If there was any doubt, it was better to not go…and he was a professional.
At any rate, I continued, he used to take others diving into caves. Now diving into caves has to be one of the most dangerous things imaginable…if something happens that’s it. Usually they would use a type of chord they would tie at the entrance and unwind the chord as they entered the cave…it was usually pitch black except for their lights. If anything happened, they could just follow the chord back up to the cave entrance.
Sometimes, they would be a narrower passageway and they would stir up the silt. This silt would completely blind them. Even though they had discussed this possibility before, some divers would panic. Panic is an extreme form of fear. What happens literally is that the field of vision narrows until one only sees a small tunnel. And of course the brain starts to fall apart… With the panic some divers would actually try to get out and get confused and go the wrong way…it’s called the fight or flight syndrome by psychologists. The point is it would happen even with expert divers…
Did it happen to him?
Yes, I continued, but he had learned and conditioned himself to accept it and become comfortable with it. He trained himself on how to deal with the fight or flight fear…
So you think scuba diving in caves will help me?
Not a bit, I laugh, it might help relax you but personally I think one has to be a bit crazy to go scuba diving in a cave, no? What’s important to understand is that stress is a part of diving, just as it is a part of business and life. If one scuba dives or is in business or is in fact alive, stress is a part of it. It’s how we react to stress that usually determines the outcome, just as the scuba diver going the wrong way in a cave can really get in trouble…
Mildred brought me another cup of coffee.
I have friends in business that have the same problem, he stated.
There is no cure for it – except death, I laugh, it’s a big problem where I live in California…stress can make people sick. I have read new research that shows attitudes and perceptions are 50% or our health…some deal well with stress and others don’t…
So how can I deal with it? He asks, when I was selling balloons and earrings I didn’t even know such a thing existed. It was just work, work, work….
I think the key is to gain a perspective on it, I continue, when you do that, you can then develop healthier attitudes and then your behaviors can change. You won’t eliminate stress but you can find a way to live with it better. For instance, they say that 90% of what we worry about are things we cannot control…so worrying about them does us no good – we only increase our stress level.
Like worrying about whether or not a credit customer will pay?
Exactly, but after you have given them credit. While you are considering them for credit is when you should worry…after you have made your decision, there is not much you can do, no? You can’t repossess their paint or can you?
You are right, he laughs, I think I need a vacation Others have said I should learn to meditate – it will help me relax. What do you think?
It probably won’t hurt but I think it depends on the individual. I’m very good at meditating but don’t do it because it doesn’t help me that much…I need the edge or stress in my work to keep me sharp. Too much meditation makes me stressful – if I get too relaxed I get worried…something is wrong.
Juan laughs.
Remember it’s how you set up your perspectives and attitudes, I continue, for instance, on those credit customers that don’t pay…it helps to understand that is a cost of doing business. Businesses that give credit are always trying to find that line between profit and growth and bad receivables…that’s where you can do something about it…where you draw that line and what you want the result to be.
It’s too much for me, he replies, that’s why I need your help.
Or someone else’s, I laugh, try to work on what is most important or the top priority. And try to do one thing at once and finish it…it’s like me, if I think of the mountain of work I have waiting for me when I get back to my office, I will become overwhelmed. But if I look at it as a series of tasks I do one at a time, it becomes manageable. In the trade we call it compartmentalization.
So I guess we Mexicans are a lot like you Gringos, no? he laughs.
We are not just alike, I laugh back, we are the same. I can hardly imagine the stress of seeing one’s children go hungry…that would make swimming a river or walking across a desert an easy task. That’s why so many of your paisanos do it…the risk of not going is much greater.
Maybe you could stay a few weeks and help me work on this, he says, I will pay you very well.
I’m sure – but my stress level would go way up, I laugh, and besides, my time is running out.
Why did you come back to Mexico? he asks.
To meet with folks like you so I can explain to my paisanos that we are all the same, I reply, at least that’s what I like to think.
I also think you are also in a battle with yourself, he smiles.
And you are one perceptive paint distributor, I laugh, but it’s also because I love Mexico and the Mexican people so much as well…I’m part Mexican you know.
I know that, he laughs, you think I would have offered you the job otherwise? I may be a stressed businessman but I’m not a foolish one. That offer still stands, you know?
I know, I reply, but my road is calling and I must be going.
Angelica is ready and we say goodbye. Juan grabs my hand with both of his.
You come back anytime, Gringo, this is your house.
Gracias, I reply.
And I have another amigo that will be very glad to see me when I return…
Jack D. Deal
