The Male Manager and Pre-Menstrual Syndrome (PMS)
As a male it is not easy writing about PMS. There are many females, especially those local to the Bay Area, that would say 'don't even try!' There are some that would say things like 'men have their own PMS and menopause'. And so on. But just because a topic is a difficult one does not mean that it should be avoided. And over the years I have seen PMS become a workplace issue. My thoughts and observations come strictly from a business perspective and not from a personal bias. For the record, my mother, my sister and my wife are all women. If my comments are viewed as simplistic please consider that my comments are by a male for male managers. I have not personally encountered problems with female managers addressing a PMS issue with female employees although I am certain that it has occurred. Female managers, as well as female employees, are much more open to addressing PMS as a workplace issue.
It has been my experience that PMS is different for each woman -- some women feel there is no such thing, some are incapacitated and others have a 'good month and then a bad month'. PMS involves a 'cycle of life' and this cycle can be very different from woman to woman. Even the medical community is not in agreement about PMS. Is PMS a monthly form of disability? Should employers recognize PMS and plan their schedules and workflow around it? Is PMS something that is private and something that is 'no business' of the employer? I have heard many different opinions. Unfortunately for male managers, no one has developed a workable 'PMS strategy' in the workplace.
PMS in the workplace comes in three basic forms with negative implications: absenteeism, reduced productivity and disruptions. Male managers often do not consider that PMS may be an issue. When I am speaking with a male manager, and the discussion involves a female employee's absenteeism, loss of production or disruptions, one of the questions I ask is 'how often do these problems occur?' This is a question I ask about all employees -- male or female. The male manager will think, pull out statistics, scratch his head and say 'about once a month around this time.' And not even consider that PMS may be involved.
When I bring up this possibility the male manager's typical response is avoidance -- it can't be, we can't talk about it, we don't want to know about it, etc. The problem with avoidance is that it provides no rationale for absenteeism, low production or disruptions. If a female employee does have a PMS problem and management will not acknowledge that problem then the employee can be assessed as being lazy, not interested or a troublemaker. This is not fair to the female employee.
How a male manager addresses PMS is the real question. One thing is clear -- avoidance is not the solution. From the workplace perspective the avoidance of PMS is a male problem. Females tend to speak about PMS much more openly -- even to males. Males often 'don't want to talk about that.'
What is a male manager to do? As with most management issues the answer is conditional and situational. There is no formula. However, I have seen some methods to resolve the avoidance problem.
Depending on the situation, a female employee or female manager can be of great help. Having a female speak about PMS to another female employee is not so much a 'woman thing' as it is a 'man thing'. Care has to be taken here about confidentiality and other ethical management issues. When a male manager acknowledges the problem but feels helpless the first thing I ask is -- is there another female that can help?
Once the problem is acknowledged the solution is much easier. Managers can reassign workload, give time off, give compensatory time off, etc. This can also be done when teams manage themselves. Again, the real negatives occur when the problem cannot be acknowledged.
There are no easy answers. Like most difficult problems awareness is the first step -- simply creating awareness can bring improved results. For businesses trying to become more 'human organizations' it is important to consider human needs. PMS is part of the life cycle -- not just a 'female' problem. For the male manager, it is important to realize female employees deserve the consideration!
Jack D. Deal
Comments
Hi. This is really interesting post. Thank You! I have just subscribed to Your rss!
Best regards
Posted by: Forexman | June 4, 2008 09:03 PM
Good day Jack,
this morning I read your article on Male managers and PMS.
After looking at your picture on your website, and reading your article, I decided you were a down to earth kind of man and therefore this email to you.
First of all, congratulations for daring to write about this subject in connexion to such a reality in the work force. Years ago, some researchers in anthropology determined that PMS was the biggest cause of absenteism in the work place. And I understand very well how businesses may consider this a plague....and not know what to do about it.
As you say absenteeism, reduced productivity and disruptions are very real.
In a nutshell, here is why I write to you and how I wish we can connect in the near future hoping I can help you help your male managers better.
I am Pauline Houle, a licensed psychotherapist (in Quebec and New York) and I have researched PMS in link with the Subconscious. Since 2000 (in French) and 2005 (in English), I have written 2 books to help women help themselves (and anybody else who may wish to enlarge their knowledge).
Out of my own healing 15 years ago, I imported my findings into my practice. The gist is that there really is a mind-body connection regarding PMS and the subconscious.
Once women understand how to decipher their symptoms and realize what rewards their symptoms hide and what intimate emotional story unfolds from their introspection, a healing happens sometimes overnight and other times, one month to the next.
When you write: Unfortunately for male managers, no one has developed a workable ’PMS strategy’ in the workplace, you cannot be more on the button for my own findings are very much to the effect that each woman has a very intimate PMS that relates to her and her only (It does not mean that it may not involve her spouse and that maybe that she is having a bad relationship she does not know how to handle, whether with her own parents or friends etc...)
I have astounding cases in my book and keep collecting data and surveys (women and men) since 1995.
You can listen to a webcast on wellness on my site (under my picture). Visit: www.pmscramprelief.com
I also survey men and write about how they feel in these moments.
In a nutshell, PMS affects everybody and if only women knew how much more power they had on their symptoms, if they only looked at them from a totally different angle... they would resolve this beast without pills.
When you also write that: If a female employee does have a PMS problem and management will not acknowledge that problem then the employee can be assessed as being lazy, not interested or a troublemaker. This is not fair to the female employee.... you are so right and connected to the humanness of it all. I will add it is not fair for her also that our medical science pushes a pill on her and consciously or subconsciously labels her as 'sick' or abnormal and so on...
To my findings, PMS is never alone in the history of the woman. You are right again to write: PMS is part of the life cycle -- not just a ’female’ problem.
I have some men clients who divorced their wives because of PMS. In such times, their women turned into 'bad witches'. There is no need for that to happen.
And where you make so much sense, is to propose: For businesses trying to become more ’human organizations.
Males often ’don’t want to talk about that. This is what my survey of men proves. They walk on eggs, feel frustrated, and lots more but none of the answers are positive about the subject. Furthermore, whenever they tried to do something about it, they felt women turned against them. Because after all, I feel that during PMS times, it is never a good time to address any issue because the woman is within a phase of reaction for which most of the time, she does not even understand why she is there to begin with. So, men (managers) with a solution oriented mind will only spark the inner fire and not resolve anything.
Once the problem is acknowledged the solution is much easier. Again, first and foremost, when do people come to therapy? Usually, when they are fed up to be a victim, and they finally acknowledge there is something wrong in their life or they were given an ultimatum to change.
Hoping this mail to not be too long, I would love to call you and offer some assistance or look at a proposal for you to offer to your businesses.
Looking forward to exchange further with you, I wish you health and success:
Pauline Houle
Psychotherapist - Author
www.paulinehoule.com
www.pmsselfhealing.com
514-277-6097 Montreal, Canada
518-563-6834 Plattsburgh, New York
Posted by: pauline Houle | November 26, 2007 10:05 AM